Captain Obama: Our Superhero!

We all know that the Captain is supposed to go down with the ship. Our Captain knows stuff that most people don't. I read how he knows how to make the most out of every crisis. Here he is blowing up a bomb to make the ground ready for a new solar power factory. I wonder if we cover the earth with solar panels will we look like a disco ball in outer space? I think I will google that. It is fun to guess things.

Ok. Suppose you lived along the Gulf Coast and your way of life was coming to an end. Suppose you blame in on the inactivity of the President. Suppose you knew that 13 nations had offered to send ships to help protect you from the scourge of the oil spill; and suppose there were dozens of oil-skimming ships around the US that could be used but for some reason your president wouldn’t allow those ships or those nations to help. Would that be proof that this president was sabotaging your life and future or would you think you were just really unlucky. Exactly. Today would not be the day for you to buy lottery tickets.

Also suppose that the president was fighting the oil spill when he got and idea to try and create some sort of law that would make his friends billionaires while quadrupling the cost of gasoline, electricity, heating oil, and natural gas or propane. You would have to say he is a friggin' genius. Doing two things is multi-tasking but this guy can do dozens and help his friends at the same time. I wish I was one of his friends.

You might also wonder about why the president would want to come up with some kind of law making all illegal immigrants legal instead of building a fence. Too easy. While experts worked on this he already figured out that to lower the crime rate all he has to do is get rid of a bunch of laws. If there are no laws to break, you can’t do anything illegal. If everyone who comes here is legal then there is no such thing as “illegal immigration”. Is it any wonder he is our captain.

When this president had a problem with one of the Auto Manufacturers,he fired the president of that company. Then he bought that company for pennies on the dollar with your money. What a buy. He helped some more of his friends and gave away most of that company to the people who helped him become president. He said he wouldn’t do that when he was elected. You might think that he lied and cannot be trusted. It is probably very confusing to you why all of the decisions he makes seems to work out bad for you. You just have to learn to trust him and stop worrying. Politics is hard to learn.

If you are a Christian or a working person or a patriot you may have noticed that you have less of everything these days. It could be that you have less freedom. God is not welcome in most of America’s public buildings anymore and Ole Glory is not as popular as she once was. You also have to be careful not to say what you think because if you are wrong they will put your name in the paper and your picture on TV and tell how stupid you are. Whatever you do don’t complain about taxes. An icecream man did that and was called a “smartass” by the vice-captain. Anyway, you were told that you wouldn’t pay any more tax than before but you might be noticing that the price of everything keeps going up. If you smoke cigarettes then you have to pay more taxes because the government wants you to pay for the people who quit smoking. Hey. They have actually come up with a new tax called a Value Added Tax that no one has to pay because it is hidden. What a great idea. They have to get their money somehow.

Actually, come to think of it they don’t have the money they are spending now but not to worry. This president or captain of ours is spending money that we don’t have but he has a plan to fix that next year. The good part is that the Chinese must like us a lot because they keep giving us money. Somebody said they aren’t going to give us any more but that is ridiculous: China is our friend. They say it has something to do with the fact that we keep spending even when we are broke and the other countries think that is a bad idea. Dang those foreigners. Someone said that my grandchildren and their kids will have to pay for this. Great because I am getting too old to work and jobs are kind of scarce right now.

Still it must be nice to be a captain. Ours spends lots of his time traveling to places and seeing new things. He makes lots of speeches which everyone loves. People love him so much they write about him every day and there are lots of TV shows that talk mostly about him. He is some kind of expert on this old paper called the Constitution and people are always amazed at the things he finds in it. They don’t find those same things so that shows what an expert he is. Some of those people say he is trying to destroy that paper but that is just silly. I do think it is sad that our captain has to sink our ship.